Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it – that’s right, it’s time to whip out the sex board games. While ‘intimacy’ and ‘Monopoly’ aren’t often mentioned in the same sentence, adding rules and dice rolls to foreplay is a popular way to keep the magic alive in the bedroom. But how do you choose the right game to get your motor running?
Whether you want position suggestions or an hour-long foreplay campaign, this list has the tabletop aphrodisiac for you. A surprising amount of classics from your childhood have been reimagined as 18+ experiences – though try not to think too hard about the Freudian implications there. There are also a wide range of new, sex-specific games for you to try (if that’s what you’re into).
Some of the entries in this list truly push the boundaries of what it means to be a tabletop game. Of course, by that, we mean that they’re barely games at all – but when the win condition is getting into bed, anything with dice and cards counts.
Without further ado, then…
Here are the best sex board games:
Monogamy
Honestly, Monopoly is the last thing we’d want to play to get in the mood, but British sex toy retailer Ann Summers clearly has other ideas. According to the manufacturer, Monopoly spin-off Monogamy promises “an exhilarating exchange of discovery on multiple levels, and one you can share with the love in your life”.
Monogamy recommends that you start the game by lighting some candles and “staring lovingly into each other’s eyes”. Whoever wins the staring contest gets to start the game.
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From here, you’ll take it in turns to move your piece around the board, perform the actions described on different squares, and pick up Monogamy cards – these have questions for you to ask your partner, ranging from ‘intimate’ to ‘passionate’.
Unfortunately, there is one feature that stands out in a game of Monogamy – heteronormativity. The Monogamy cards are split into decks labelled ‘his’ and ‘hers’. Same-sex couples may find themselves only using half of the cards, or even avoiding the game altogether.
Sex dice
If Twister can be considered a board game with only a spinner that tells you where to put your arms and legs, we’d argue that sex dice definitely meet the criteria. There are a wide range of sex dice on the market, but they all share the Twister game mechanic: they tell you what body part goes where.
Sex dice can help you choose positions, body parts, or locations
Perhaps you have a single die illustrated with various sex positions; perhaps the result of two dice tell you what intimate act you should perform on what part of the body; or maybe your dice tell you where in your house to get up close and personal.
If you choose to use some sex dice after reading this guide, heed one word of advice – the instructions your dice give may not always make sense. There’s every chance that your Netflix and chill session will begin with the command to “blow ears”.
Truth or Dare for Couples
No longer is truth or dare merely a game for teens experiencing their first romantic tension. This version of the classic party game claims to be “perfect for couples looking for delectable after-dinner fun.”
Inviting your beau upstairs for coffee? Perhaps a saucy truth will put you in the mood.
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Or – if the Amazon reviews are anything to go by – perhaps not so much sauce after all. Many couples praised Truth or Dare for Couples for having interesting ‘truths’ and funny ‘dares’, but there’s a distinct lack of sex-appeal going on in this game.
If you’re after a night of laughs with your love, this may be the game for you; if you were hoping for something more in the style of strip poker, you might want to carry on with the guide.
Sex Stack
Sex Stack is a plain old Jenga tower, but with a few key twists. Each block is numbered, and once you remove a block from the tower, you must perform the act assigned to that number on an instructions card. These activities range from finger nibbling to – well, something else that starts with ‘f’.
Remove blocks from the tower to choose an intimate activity
The ‘sex stack’ has four rows of wooden blocks compared to Jenga’s three, which may change the strategies you use to keep your tower standing up straight. It’s not clear, however, what happens when the tower falls. We expect Sex Stack’s manufacturers probably weren’t expecting you to make it that far.
This board game is certainly one of the more intense games on the list – it even has its own ‘hardcore’ mode. However, sex stack also falls prey to old-fashioned gender norms. Activities designated to each block are separated into ‘male’ and ‘female’, and exclusion is certain to dampen any steamy experience.
Bedroom Battle
Arguably, Bedroom Battle is the most board-game-like board game on this list. It’s not ripping off an existing classic, and it has its own rules, design, and components. Luckily for those of you still looking to get down to business quickly, though, playing a game of bedroom battle is as simple as it is sexy.
The game is designed for two players. At the start of a round, players draw a reward card with three intimate actions listed. You and your opponent then take it in turns to play cards, with the goal of ending the round with the highest ‘sexiness’ rating. The winner gets to pick an action from the reward card, and the loser performs it. Simple!
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Unlike some of the other games on this list, Bedroom Battle boasts about its inclusivity as well as its sex positivity. “It doesn’t matter if you’re straight, gay, or lesbian”, says the game’s box, “everyone can play”.
Bedroom Battle even has expansion packs – just in case you wore out the first deck of cards.
Talk, Flirt, Dare
Talk, Flirt, Dare has a box that boasts its “three games in one” will have “something for everyone”. The game is also very proud of the fact it has “no complicated rules” – you pick a card, then answer a question or perform a dare. That’s all there is to it.
Three games in one might be too ambitious a claim
Couples or groups who are looking for intimate conversation instead of action can choose from the game’s ‘talk’ deck. If you want to go further than just getting to know each other, the ‘flirt’ and ‘dare’ decks are designed to heat things up a little.
Considering just how basic the game’s concept is, it might be a bit ambitious to claim you’re getting three games in one with Talk, Flirt, Dare. However, it is an easy-peasy way to get cosy with your beau on date night.
Foreplay in a Row
Foreplay in a Row wins the award for most pun-tastic title in the list. This adult adaptation of the classic Connect Four challenges two players to get ‘four in a row’ before they get busy.
Each disk in Foreplay in a Row gives you a short, simple instruction to perform. ‘Massage Body’, command the discs. And, of course, who could forget classic moves like ‘Fondle?’
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If you successfully create a line of four discs in the same colour, you and your opponent must perform each act described in your row.
The game is a simple novelty, but buying a copy of Foreplay in a Row online could cost you the same as a cheap bottle of wine. You have to wonder, though, whether the money would be better spent buying booze to accompany a sexy game of noughts and crosses. We’ll let you decide!
Adult Loaded Questions
Adult Loaded Questions is a mature edition of the ‘who said what’ guessing game Loaded Questions. Ever wondered what shows your friends and crushes wish had full frontal nudity? For insight into the dirty side of their mind, this is the game for you.
How raunchy the game gets will depend on the players’ answers
In Adult Loaded Questions, you start by drawing a card with four questions on. Flick a spinner to help you choose a question to ask your group, then collect the answer sheets where each player will have written a response. The player to your right will read each answer aloud, and it’s up to you to correctly match the answer to the person in order to score points.
The questions included in Adult Loaded Questions are more suggestive than downright sexual. However, giving players the opportunity to write their own answers means that you might uncover some truly lewd conversations in the right company.
Oral Fun
After including so many classic games adapted for the bedroom, this list wouldn’t be complete without a trivia game. Luckily, there’s a lewd one of those too.
We present to you Oral Fun . This is, according to the slogan proudly displayed on the box, “the game of eating out while staying in”.
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According to Lovehoney, the player with the longest tongue starts a game of Oral Fun. You and your opponent are racing to reach square 69, answering trivia questions and performing some fun forfeits along the way.
Oral Fun recommends adding your own components to fully enjoy the board game. These include lube, ice cubes, small items of food, and a blindfold.
Lovehoney: Position of the Week
The final game in this list is by far the longest, taking place over a number of weeks (though we’re not sure whether it counts as a legacy board game). Lovehoney: Position of the Week is the Kama Sutra in card form – a deck of graphic cards showing off different positions to try from week to week.
Each position can be given a star rating on the back of the card
Though simple, Lovehoney has attempted to add some interactivity to this dirty deck – each card comes with a space to give the position a star rating on the back, along with some instructional text in case you and your lover are having trouble getting your legs to go in that direction.
Lovehoney: Position of the Week is unfortunately limited to 2-person heterosexual couples, although maybe this means there will be room for future expansion packs. At least this spicy take on Twister will keep the two of you flexible.
Source: Wargamer
